Humour Archive

Scraps of humour research presented here for your consumption. Comments welcome.

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Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

Thursday, November 02, 2006

TDK does amazing things to my sister

Welcome to the humour archive - place that answers all those questions that you've never dared ask.

Have you ever wondered....

Who was that cross-eyed bear Alanis get so worked up about, anyway?
What possessed Robert Palmer to go surfing in the sisterphone?
Why was Billy Corgon ready to cage?
And how does he know today is the greatest day available?
Where are the special things in sodomy that Five for Fighting's Superman is looking for?
How come Macy Gray wears goggles when you're no there?
Don't Aqua know that Barbie isn't a wee-wee doll ("Come on body lets go potty")?

The above misheard lyrics seem somewhat related to the 'secret yet' - "a short phrase or riddle involving a pun, in which the punning word has been replaced by a synonym" - people often forget a joke and tell it badly by stuffing up the punchline; for example:

Make like a banana and leave

(this is two secret yets in one: it is trees that leave, bananas just split).

Secret yets seem to me a bit like malapropisms; but to some, the comparison may seem odorous!

To finish off, I'll leave you with one of my dad's favorists (warning: if you're allergic to the C-bomb, contents may offend):

There's this guy in a bar having a few drinks.
Another man walking in and says "Tickle your arse with a feather."
The first guy, confused, goes: "What?"
Second guy says: "Particularly nasty weather."
First guy: "Oh, right." He nods and keeps drinking.

Upon arriving home (by this stage he is a little sloshed), he has the following conversation with his wife:
"Shove this feather up your arse!"
"What?"
"Oh, cunt of a day!"

6 Comments:

Blogger Dee said...

all jokes aside, 'Islam in Indonesia' on compas this wk.

6:57 pm  
Anonymous AJ said...

Hey Eug, did you get my SMS about the misheard lyric, from Eskimo Joe's Black Fingernails, Red Wine?

The lyric is "All of us stand and point our fingers" and I thought it was "I don't understand the point of fingers" :)



Another one is Bernard Fanning's Wish You Well. The lyric is "Why'd you give up on me so soon?" and I thought it was "Why'd you give up on miso soup?" :)



And you already put down the Five for Fighting one. Ace! Keep 'em coming.

AJ [by proxy]

12:45 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I liked this one:

The real lyrics were:
Heathcliff!
It's me, Cathy and I've come back
oh, so cold, let me in-a your window

But I misheard them as:
Eeee-wheee!
It's me; I'm a tree, I'm a wombat.
Oh, so cold at the end of your winter

And AJ, everyone has to give up on miso soup someday, the damn stuff just lets you down again and again.
Cheers
Nomes.

5:14 pm  
Anonymous Hooch said...

LOL. Gnome, that is absolute GOLD. :D

PS. my word verification is "wnbzt", which, if you squint your eyes really hard looks a little bit like "wombat"....squint REALLY hard.

12:03 am  
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